So 7:30 it was, and after a quick lesson given by a girl doped on Benadryl, we were introduced to our teammates. Team 4 united. Secret handshake and all. We put our heads together. Conversed secretly. Our topic? The Book of Mormon. Depict something from the Book of Mormon on your cake. You will be judged according to creativity, execution, and something else that I don't remember. But that one doesn't matter anyway.
We looked at each other with smirks on our faces, then our eyes darted to our neighboring team and we eyed them with suspicion. They did the same. Unfortunately, we didn't have anywhere to go as our cakes occupied the same table. We eyed our supplies on the supply table. The neighboring team, the 3's, did the same. One of our more daring teammates made a run for the table. As luck would have it, we weren't the first ones with that idea. As we were instructed, we didn't take very much frosting. Unfortunately, other teams are stingy and mean and spiteful, and they took the entire bowl.
I exaggerate. But we didn't even have enough frosting to cover the top of our cake. As you will find out, we didn't need it. I shouldn't complain. Back to the story.
With our supplies of frosting, toothpicks, food coloring, coconut, red hots, and Twizzlers in hand, we threw out ideas.
"Ammon! The Twizzlers could be the bloody arms..."
"We could just cover it in yellow frosting and call it the Celestial Kingdom..."
"3D cake! Make it a 3D cake!"
"I think we should just make it red and say it's blood."
"The Book of Mormon IS rated R..."
"EW! Who had this idea? Boys?? We are NOT making a boy's cake..."
"But uh... I'm a girl and I think that's a good idea..."
"Why can't it be pink?"
"3D cake! Make it a 3D cake!"
"Do the Land of Desolation..."
"Did anything else even happen in the Book of Mormon?"
"I sure hope no one loses their testimony because of this..."
"Just make it bloody. Whatever you do, it has to be bloody."
"The Book of Mormon is rated X..."
"No, the New Testament is rated R... that's sketchy..."
"True... OK, it's just rated R... for all the gore... it needs to be a blood cake."
"This is gross."
And so we settled on a cake called Maher Shalal Hash Baz. That was NFF's idea. Destruction is imminent. So fitting, actually.
We first set out to make the grossest color possible out of the food coloring we were given. Dare I say it... I think we succeeded. It was disgustingly satisfying. My teammate, The Froster (TF) set out to frost our chocolate cake, only to find that it crumbled with every stroke of the spatula. Oh well, more character, right? Destruction. Again, so fitting. Soon, we found that there was most definitely not enough frosting for the entire cake. I turned to get more, only to be disappointed, for the greedy teams had taken all of it!
Fear not! My genius teammate, Dwight, escaped to his apartment and returned with a jar of chunky peanut butter. Our cake was soon filled with peanut butter mountains, covered in coconut bones and red hot guts. Dwight set out making midget licorice corpses, while NFF began making a giant licorice king. Unfortunatley, NFF failed to make the head, so I began to assist him. The head was unfortunately a cyclops, but, as we all know, many people lost their eyes in battles. As NFF and I began making more licorice giants, Tash2 and Best Friend (BF) lamented a bit about the goriness of the cake, while NFF explained to us that Dwight's grandmother was his 1st grade teacher. Dwight's grandmother thought NFF was too violent in 1st grade. NFF liked to draw tanks in 1st grade. Tash2 believed he never grew out of his violence.
After NFF and I had finished our licorice giants, we realized that licorice failed to stand on its own. Andre who towered a good 2 feet above me suggest toothpicks and knives. Dwight told us that Andre thinks on a higher level than all of us. This is truth. I hate to admit this, but there is but one teammate who's identity escapes me. I only remember that none of us knew his name, and this made us all sad. So for now, we shall call him Nameless. And thus he is named.
To make a short story long, after putting Andre's genius idea to good use, our beautifully hideous cake was finished. It was unstable. We feared for its' life. When FHE coordinator informed us that we had to actually transport our creations to the judging table, a small cry escaped from TF and Dwight. NFF put on a brave face and slowly reached toward the cake. Nameless was nowhere to be seen. Tash2 and BF looked over my shoulder with despair. But NFF didn't let us down!
And the judging began. The Judge surveyed our cakes with giggles insisting that every cake was a winner and that she couldn't possibly choose any winners. 8 cakes. 3 prizes. 1 judge.
Each team explained their cake. 2 cakes depicted Ammon. 2 cakes depicted the tree of life. 1 cake depicted Samuel the Lamanite. 1 cake depicted the Title of Liberty. 1 cake depicted something else I can't remember. And... our cake... Maher Shalal Hash Baz. Destruction is IIMMINENT!
We won most creative.
Go team 4.
We were all proud of our cake in the end.
None of us ate it.
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