What was later referred to as "The Great Social Media Purge"

So I've been around for 22 years, right? Right. Sometimes it feels like a long time, and other times it feels like just yesterday that mom caught me sitting in the cupboard 
eating m&ms.
Wait. That was last week... Huh. Anyway.
I remember when pogs and nanopets were all the rage. I remember when I would beg to get on my dads laptop that had the click-in mouse just so I could "play paint" or solitaire. I remember when an exciting day consisted of stringing up my barbies between the branches of our walnut tree and having my brother's G.I. Joe's save them. I remember spending an afternoon burning our initials into the wooden frame of our sandbox in the backyard. I remember dividing our bedroom, I remember drawing on everything I could get my hands on, I remember cardboard box surfing down our stairs. I remember the huge dip in my best friend's driveway, and fishing for worms in"Lake Echols" after a big rain storm. I remember swimming in the most redneck swimming pool possible on a hot summer day, an old silo lined with all the heavy plastic our small town had. I remember riding our bikes to "The Hollow" and getting attacked by mosquitoes, and vowing to never go again, but going the next week because of the rope swing. I remember pretending to be a rock star on our electric piano because it had like 100 different sounds. I remember laying upside down on the couch in front of our giant front window and watching the snow fall. I remember we asking mom for grilled ham and cheese sandwiches for breakfast, because I could. I remember painting gramps and grans "Little House," and putting our handprints on the back door. I remember mom and gran kicking is out of the kitchen because they wanted to eat all the chocolate cookies. I remember crying that hershey's chocolate was unchanged since 1960 whatever, and "why can't we be like that?" when I found out we were moving. I remember lending my "My Little Pony" to my cousin, and the utter devestation I felt when I knew I'd never see them again. I remember the sound of bells everyday from the nearby campus. I remember feeding the neighbor dog "Shaka berries," because his name was Shaka and he loved those berries. I remember going to the cougar eat with gran and feeling so grown up around all those college students. I remember the year it snowed up to my waist and I wondered if we were going to get snowed in. I remember having sailboat races in the irrigation ditches. I remember getting to ride my horse for my 7th birthday at my.house instead of driving to see him and feeling like a princess. I remember making a worm farm, forgetting about it, and coming back to some very dry, very dead worms. Oops. I remember singing to myself in the mirror. I remember tetherball tournaments in my backyard. I remember writing books and poems and songs. I remember reading from the time the sun came up until my eyes burned I remember my childhood being ridiculously awesome.
Then I grew up.
Not to say my adult life hasn't been awesome, because it has. But all those things I used to do as a little kid... When did I stop doing that? And why? I can understand maybe not trying the worm farm again, but pretty much everything else, where's the rules that say you have to grow up and get boring?
So that's my mission this month. Be awesome again.
I wonder just how much of my life has been wasted on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram. Now, I don't necessarily think any of these is a complete waste of time, but I wonder how many better things I could be doing if I rid my life of these potential time wasters (and let's be honest, I really did waste a lot of time on them).
Whatever happened to drawing on everything I could get my hands on? Or singing to myself in the mirror? Well, I still so that... Or whatever happened to being a rockstar on the electric keyboard? Or going to the hollow for fun? Or laying upside down to watch snow fall?
I don't want to miss things in my life that I could be good at. I can draw, I can paint, I can sing, I can play the piano, I can write, I'm a great reader, I can do so many things that I don't do enough of! So I'm purging myself of social media as an experiment... just how much can I accomplish in my free time when I'm not filling it with Facebook and other social media?
Guess we'll see, loves. ;)
Here's to life. Because it's amazing. <3

Thanks to our founding fathers.

This post won't be very humorous. I'm taking this time to share my thoughts on something I think all American and people who love America should take the time to consider and reflect upon. Thanksgiving is an American holiday, true, but its not really devoted to gorging ourselves in preparation for our new years resolutions a month later. Thanksgiving really is a time to think back on our nations history and be thankful not only for what we have, as citizens of such an amazing nation, but also to be thankful to those incredible men who founded our country and be respectful of how it was done. Even if you are not religious, I hope you will take the time to read this post and really give respect to the amazing men who put their faith in God as they built the nation that you both enjoy and complain about everyday. They deserve that much.

Sitting on each plate at thanksgiving dinner was a rolled up piece of paper. Grandma asked each of us to open it and read along as my aunt read it aloud. On the paper was  written this letter by George Washington, October 3, 1789:

"Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor; and whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me to recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affirming them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness.

Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to service of that great and glorious Being who is the Beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the courses and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have enabled to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now instituted; for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for the great and various favors which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations, and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our national government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shown kindness to us), and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and generally, to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best.

Given under my hand, at the city of New York, the 3rd day of October, AD 1789
George Washington."

Remember what was done to make this wonderful nation what it is. Remember what those men had to go through to make it so. Remember what this country was founded on. Remember to be thankful. You'll feel better, I promise.

No sleep tonight, I have a story to tell.

So tonight I lay here, sleepless. The last time this happened, I pulled an accidental all-nighter, and I am not about to let that happen again, because I can't tell you how miserable of a day that was for all parties involved. So instead of repeating one of history's worst days, I decided to do what I feel I must do, and that is share my story.
One of my stories, that is. See, last time I lay sleepless, I had a feeling that I just needed to share something, but I decided it could wait till morning. But that feeling kept me up till I responded to it at 4 in the morning, and by then I figured I may as well get up and get ready for the day since I was wide awake, and ravenous...
Like I said: not ready to repeat that.
So, since I must be up in approximately 6.5 hours, I'm here typing away on the keyboard of my smart little phone to share my innermost feelings with you. And I hope that I say what I should.
For the past several months, I've had some specific things on my mind. One of which has been the topic of religion. I was brought up a member of the LDS church. But just like everyone must at some point, I had to find my own testimony and know for myself that it was true. I never had much trouble believing as kid, nor in my teenage years, but when I turned 19 my life changed drastically in an instant. I found myself neck deep in a world that I thought only existed in other people's lives - something you only see on t.v. or hear about happening to other people. It could never happen to me, could it?
And yet there I was, quickly losing everything that made me who I was, desperately grasping onto everything I had been taught and believed to keep myself sane and alive. I had no idea who I was anymore, I'd even forgotten what my own laughter sounded like. I spent more nights crying than my entire life put together, but soon, I stopped crying altogether. I was numb. Numb to pain, numb to happiness. I stopped feeling almost everything. I've never felt more alone or abandoned. Life was cold and dark. And I was shattered.
This was probably one of the lowest points I have ever reached in my life. My parents, although the most supportive and loving beings on the planet (at least in my book), were states away from me at the time, and after talking with them about it for a while, we knew it was for the best that they stay where they were, and that I stay where I was. They were there for me emotionally, and never more than a phone call away, but physically I just felt so alone and helpless.
I was never really one to ask why things happened to me in life, because I always understood that there are circumstances that are beyond control, and you don't get to pick your lot in life. But there were times that I just cried and wondered what I was supposed to do with myself after all this? and how could I ever forgive this person? and if I couldn't, what kind of person did this make me? how was I supposed to live with myself? and how would I ever find anyone who didn't see ms as 'tainted' or 'flawed'? was I stupid? or naive? how could I not have seen this coming?
All these and probably hundreds more questions haunted me every single day. For years.
Now, I know there are plenty of people who aren't religious who go through situations similar to my own, and they get through it and lead happy lives. That's not what I'm writing this for. I'm not here to argue or bible bash with anyone. I'm here to tell you my story. I'm not here to shove anything down anyone's throat. It's not my place nor my intent. But I want to tell you who I am. And this is largely what makes me who I am.
Like I said before, physically, geographically, I felt so alone. Being single and being alone are two incredibly different things, because I know firsthand how truly alone you can be with someone right next to you.
I literally had nothing but my faith to turn to. The little bit of me I had left, I threw at the Lord's feet, and just begged for Him to pick me up and make me whole again.
For my high school graduation, over four years ago, my parents gave me a ring that I still wear to this day. It's misshapen, it has been lost, absolutely worn out, but I never take it off...and this is why: on the ring, engraven so small I can barely read it, is the Footsteps Poem.

'So I said to the Lord, "You promised me Lord, that if I would follow you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods in my life there have been only one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most you have not been there for me?" The Lord replied, "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand is when I carried you."'

I have no words. Typing that poem brought me back to every moment I've ever felt this in my life. Actually, typing this whole story has brought me back to all the times I've ever felt this. And that's just it. Religion may not be logical, but I can never deny the reality of God after being brought through my own personal hell by what I know was the Lord's arms. I don't pretend to be a genius, or to be able to explain much of anything, but I can tell you I know what God has brought me through, and where He has brought me today, and I wouldn't change a thing. What I went through was horrific to me, and I wish it upon no one. But I wouldn't trade it for anything because of the knowledge of Christ's atonement that I have now. I've never known so much pain, but I've never known so much peace. There's nothing in this physical world that can take away the pain and hatred and bitterness that was in my soul, but the atonement did exactly that. I don't want to live my life bitter at someone, or hating them for anything. It does them no harm at all - they don't hurt when I hate them! But it causes me pain everyday - I have to relive that hell every time I take the time to hate him. Who wants to live that way? I refuse to live that way. I refuse to give him or anyone that power over me. That's what Christ did for me. Gave me the power to love again. He didn't just make me me again, He made me so much more of a person than I was before. I liked who I was before, but I'm so much more now. But I could never ever be the person I am today without the atonement of Jesus Christ. I just couldn't.
And that's why I can't deny my religion. It's not something I can logically explain to you, and I will never try to. It's a feeling. Plain and simple - the best feeling.
<3