I am not Clark Kent, I am Superman.

More often than not I find myself lifting up my head just enough to where I look like an nerdy snob whenever I wear my glasses. You know the look - your glasses are just too low, but you either don't have the hands to push them up where they belong, you're just too lazy, or, in my case, your eyelashes are too long for you to really be wearing glasses anyway, but since you do, you can only shove them up so far on the bridge of your nose before they're running into your eyeballs, so you are destined to look like a nerdy snob. The only option I have is to lift my chin up so I can see. Thus, resulting in the nerdy snob look. Ah well, I blame genetics for both my bad eyes and my bug eyes. I get the bug eyes from my mother - big eyes with really long eyelashes. I only have 12 eyelashes, though - 3 on each lid. They're long though! Ok, slight exaggeration, but in comparison to my sister, I feel like I have 12 eyelashes! Who I got the bad eyes from, though, would take too long to explain, seeing as my parents both have 20/20 vision. Riddle me that, Poindexter.

Glasses are a funny thing. They can totally change the way you feel about yourself. I'm serious! When I don't wear my glasses, I feel different because, for one thing, everything is slightly fuzzy, I find myself squinting a bit, but I do feel more "present" and aware. When I do wear them though, I feel like I've stepped into a different persona! But... now that I use that analogy, I realize that it's more like Superman stepping into Clark Kent more, and to be honest, I've never been a huge Clark Kent fan. Superman is a different story; he's super cool, I mean, he's a superhero, of course he's super cool! But Clark Kent... I just could never get past his super awkwardness. We have all met nerds in our lives, and actually, I'm pretty sure we're all nerds about one thing or another. Me? I'm a Doctor Who nerd, and so proud of it. But that's another story entirely. Another time, readers, another time. Back to nerds. We all know nerds! Why is it that some nerds are super cool, and some are just... awkward? Well, I don't think I need to explain much more, but Clark Kent is just an awkward nerd. Clark Kent people skills - 0. Superman people skills - a bajillion. I don't understand why this is, because he's still the same guy, he just wears his underwear on the outside of his spandex and added a cape. How is THAT cool?

I don't wear my underwear outside of my spandex when I take my glasses off, I assure you. My glasses, though, are kind of indie, and they make me feel pretty hip and stylin' whenever I wear them. People seem to recognize me less when I wear them, though. In fact, my bishop didn't recognize me the first time I wore them to church. He came up to me later and apologized for not saying, "hello!" because he didn't know it was me.

Isn't that funny how just one little thing can change you? No one would look at Clark Kent and go, "oh hey, I'm pretty that guy is Superman!" even though they look identical... but that's not the point. Superman has made us believe that changing the way that we look will change who we are, and even turn us into superheroes. Can we really change that much about ourselves in just the blink of an eye? My mom and I were talking today about our recent move to California. Every time we moved cities in Utah she would tell me that I had the opportunity to take all the things about myself that I didn't like and change them. I had the chance to become a better person.

Most of the times I moved around was when I was younger. Looking back now, I can't remember what things I didn't like about myself that I decided to change, because they probably weren't terribly important. I think I was always the same person, but when you're in one place for so long, sometimes you become complacent with who you are, and your desire to progress as a person kind of slips away. Sometimes it's not because you don't want to change; sometimes it's because everyone already sees you as one thing, even though that may not be who you want to be. As human beings, we often get caught up in how others view us, when that, in reality, is hardly important. Are you who you want to be? Does God know who you are? Those are the things that really matter. God knows the intentions of your heart. He knows who you really are, even if no one else seems to see that. The important thing is that you portray the best you that you have.

Who we are on the inside can often be reflected by what we wear, how we carry ourselves, our demeanor, our attitude, and how we treat others. But just as often as those reflections are true, those reflections can be false. Too often, we use these things as a mask to cover who we really are, to cover up the things we don't like about ourselves. Is Clark Kent really a nerd, or is he really Superman?

I think he's Superman. The nerd is just a cover. He doesn't want people to really know that he's Superman; he doesn't want everyone to know that he has all these killer abilities and that he's super awesome! So he hides behind a desk, his glasses, his suit and tie and awkward glances. But I am not Clark Kent. I am Superman. And so are you! What have you got to be ashamed about? God made you, and He knew what He was doing when He did it. I've struggled in the past with certain things about myself. When I was 12 I got really sick and lost a lot of weight, weight that didn't come back until I graduated high school. When I did start to gain weight, it really messed with my mind. I knew I needed to gain weight in order to be healthy, but I couldn't help but feel fat. I fought those feelings, and thank goodness I shared them with my mom and my Heavenly Father, otherwise I honestly think I could have gone anorexic. I hid that about myself for a long time, though. But I know the Lord made me the way He did, and now I'm really grateful for a healthy body that works, even if I still struggle with loving the way that I look.

Inside, we have greatness. We're given so much. Don't hide the super inside you! I want so badly to take all the girls in high school by the hand and tell them how beautiful they are, and tell them that the things they think matter right now, won't matter in 5 years. I want to tell them all the things that are special about them. I want to tell them how being unique makes them more wonderful. I want to tell them that the boys who break their hearts will regret it later. I want to tell them that

Kim Kardashian is my idol for one reason - she rocks her big booty. I don't "quite" have a Kim Kardashian booty, but my mom and sister are both built straight up and down, they don't got no hips. And when I say they don't got no hips, I mean it... they don't got NO hips. My sister and I were at Goodwill trying on jeans last week, and I tried on one pair of jeans that fit just fine around my legs, but there ain't no way those jeans was fittin' around my hips. So I handed them to my little sister, and *whoosh* they slid right on. I had to notice that the jeans fit around her legs the same way they fit around mine, but they were almost loose around her waist. It was amazing to me how we could be built so differently. The opposite thing happened when we were trying on shirts. She would try on a shirt that fit her too tightly around the... uh, chest... and then she would hand it to me to try on. I would put the same shirt on, and all the sudden my... uh, chest... disappeared.

But I'm learning to love it. And this is why I love Kim Kardashian. Don't judge me. I know, Keeping up with the Kardashians leaves something to be desired, to say the least, but I love that Kim and Khloe aren't size 0's, and they're proud of it! I know I'm still thin, I'm not fat by any means, and I know it might sound silly to some of you, but I honest to goodness have struggled with feeling fat for a long time. One thing that my new-found womanly figure has helped? More and more people believe me when I say I'm old enough to drive! I can't tell you how many times I get people asking me when I graduate high school instead of when I graduate college. Oh well, I'll look good when I'm 50, right?

Well, I'll quit my babbling. Go be super, and don't hide behind your Clark Kent glasses!

Till next time, gentle readers, stay awesome. :)