Happy

Can I just say that I am one incredibly blessed individual? I don't even know how it happened, but I am so incredibly happy. :)

Never been like this before

I just want to say that the other day I experienced something that I'm not totally sure that I've ever felt before. I almost hesitate to say what it is, because it could come off sounding totally snobbish and stuck up, and I am neither of those things. I just... jeesh! I really have no words right now people. And you know what happens what that happens? Well... neither do I, but this time, I wrote a song, and it was so much fun! Maybe if I get brave, I'll have someone record me singing it and I'll put it on here for the world to see (eek!).
In other news, I, Makenna K. Donaldson rode a full size street cruiser yesterday all by myself. Ok, that part is a lie. I had help. But let's not detract from the moment, here.
And yet again, in other news, life is absolutely wonderful!! So wonderful, that I channel this little girl... this is my new mantra!!

I can do anything good! <3 

this is for you, my dear readers :)

Good things come to those who wait

Patience.

When I was in Young Women's, one of the values in Personal Progress (Divine Nature, perhaps?) had a requirement that was described basically like this: pick a trait you would like to acquire, and for a month, pray and fast and work to acquire that attribute. At the time, my little sister and I would get in some stodgy ol' tiffs. To this day, I probably don't even remember what they were about. I would probably get upset that she would use something of mine without asking me, and then I would probably get upset that she wanted to be just like me, and she would probably get upset that I would borrow her hair stuff without asking, and she'd probably be upset if I walked into her room. I don't even know. We were probably just upset at the other one because we thought the other one was upset. Good grief. My poor mother...

Long story short: what attribute did I pick?

Patience. I knew I was impatient with my little sissy. Did I ever.

And now what do I do for a living?

Nanny someone else's children. Aka: patience.

Although this job, at times, can be extremely difficult and definitely test my patience, it always makes me so grateful for the sweet little boys that I am blessed to share my life with, and the rest of the family, who all happen to be extremely incredible individuals as well! I don't look at this job as "work" anymore; it's become a part of my life, and I love it. I come home and talk to my mom about diapers, and runny noses, naptime, new words, how many times I had to change someone's clothes (including my own) who ate what, funny things the boys say, how good or naughty they were, and all the things a mom would probably talk about. I realized that my life has begun to revolve around these little boys, and you know what? I kinda like it. Sometimes I make fun of myself and say that I need a life outside of toddlers, because I catch myself snapping at people when I need their attention... so impolite, I know. I can't help it! But I still wouldn't have it any other way, because I adore what I do! Yes, it is hard, and yes, I get tired, and yes, I'm sometimes impatient, but I could not ask for a better job or a better family to work for. Heavenly Father has blessed and provided for me immensely!

Patience is such a hard thing to learn. It even requires patience to acquire patience, that's how tough it is! Wrap your little brains around that, munchkins! I had a seminary teacher and a bishop say to me once, "Heavenly Father, can't you give me some patience already?!"

Sometimes we all feel that way. At least I hope it's not just me. Unfortunately, patience doesn't work that way. Remember that story about the little kids that were given a marshmallow, and told that if they waited five minutes, they could have two marshmallows? One marshmallow is good, but two is better. Of course, it required patience to get the second marshmallow. That's how life is. You can have this, which is good, right now, but if you wait, you can have THIS, which is better - but all of it is on the Lord's time. That's the part where patience comes in. We, as mortals, don't understand exactly what the Lord's timetable is. To Him, our life on earth is a short period, but to us, well... it's a lifetime! And, as mortals, it, being all we know, feels like a seriously long time. Heck, a week feels like a long time!

But the Lord knows best, and He knows what we need, and when we need it. Live worthily, follow the spirit, do what feels right, and you will be led to the things that He has intended for you. It's not such a hard concept, but it requires you to lose yourself, forget about your time frame, trust God completely, and let Him guide you.

He knows what He's doing :) and that makes me happy.

Once a Weakness, Now a Strength

My sister was always the athletic one in the family. She could look at a set of weights and suddenly she had a six pack. Life is so unfair. She was jumping on the trampoline before she could walk. She spent her mornings, days and afternoons in the irrigation gutters of our Provo home, and rarely left the house in anything more than a diaper. She has always been so naturally fit. She can gain muscle and stay so lean and it's just unreal! People like that exist, I tell you! I'm related to her!

I, although I loved being active as well, was never quite like her. I loved to sing, loved to dance and dress up and play with barbies (even though I would play barbies and GI Joes with my brother). I loved to be outside and play with the dog, run, climb trees, jump on the trampoline, and do all the things she liked to do, but I was never the same as she was. I never liked getting dirty. She loved it. I taught myself the piano when I was little and took singing lessons while she would rather play in the mud (literally). I can work out for months and do nothing but get skinnier, and putting on muscle is like asking an elephant to play hide and go seek in a dollhouse. Just ain't gon' happen.

My whole life I was jealous of her, and she was jealous of me. It's a viscous cycle. I always wished I could have defined abs and ripped calves and still look super gorgeous and feminine. In time, I learned to realize that I'm just not built that way.

Allow me to explain a little. I have had health problems my whole life. When I was little, I got strep throat like a fiend every year, without fail. Chocolate gave me migranes. I would get hives at the most random moments with no apparent explanation. Then, the summer after 6th grade, I hit the lowest point healthwise that I'd ever hit. Everything I ate started making me sick. I couldn't find anything that made me feel good. On a 90 degree day, I was shivering; I could never get warm. My hair stopped growing. My nails stopped growing. I slept a ton. I had had mononucleosis the previous year, so I was already weak from that, but I had zero energy.

That summer I took orchestra at the Jr. High. I only lived a block away, so I would try to walk, even though it exhausted me. When it became too exhausting to walk, my mom would drive me. Then the walk into the Jr. High became too hard, and it soon became too hard to hold my viola underneath my chin. My left knee felt so stiff and it made me cry to try to bend it. I remember walking back to the car one day after orchestra was over and just crying because I was in so much pain. Needless to stay, that was my last day at summer Orchestra.

The summer didn't get better. I stopped walking completely, I couldn't even stand or let my feet go below my heart for very long, and soon the stiffness moved into my left arm, and my right leg. I hardly ate a thing, and I whittled down to 75 or 80 lbs at my lowest point. My hair didn't grow, my nails didn't grow, and I basically looked (and felt) like I was dying. I don't even remember much of that year of my life, because, to be honest, most of it was spent sleeping. My parents told me that they would check on me every night just to make sure I was still breathing.

I was homeschooled my 7th grade year, because I couldn't walk. I went to countless doctors, who all told me I was either anorexic or crazy. Specialists helped with nothing, every medication made me worse, and I wasn't getting any better on my own. After countless priesthood blessings and promises of a full life, and utilizing the atonement to it's fullest, we found an alternative medical doctor, who is also a chiropractor, who actually cared and listened and helped me. I started getting treatments from him I think around March of 2003, but I could be wrong (like I said, I don't remember much from that year). Thanks to him and his accupuncture, adjustments, probiotics and the Asyra machine, I started getting better.

By the summer of 2003, I was walking again, but I could only go very short distances (like walking to the car), because my muscles had atrophied so badly. I tired out really easily, I was still really skinny and I was still unsure about what I could and couldn't eat. For another two years after I started walking, I still tired out really easily, when I did finally put on weight, it was mostly fat weight (although I needed it) because I put it on so quickly. I was still very thin, and all through high school I was made fun of because I was skinny and I ate "like a rabbit." People didn't understand what I went through, and I wasn't about to explain my life's story to them.

I still struggle with my stamina and being able to eat things, and I still get sick sometimes, and my toes are still always red because of my poor circulation. When I get "sick" it's usually not anything contagious. In my family we fondly refer to it as the Mik's sickness, because that's what it is. I honest to goodness feel super crappy, but it's not from a virus or a bug, it's just me.

After going through an experience like that, when for a while people thought you would never walk again, let alone run, it makes me that much more grateful to my Heavenly Father for not only preserving my life, but preserving my limbs! I have a working body that, though it may get tired too quickly, still runs, and still eats, and has hair and nails that grow! What felt like a weakness to me for so long, is starting now to become a strength, all because of the Lord! With Him, anything is possible.  It never ceases to amaze me that I am able to run and even eat a milkshake every once in a while. I always had faith that I would be healed, but everyday I'm grateful for legs and arms that let me run and dance and pick things up! It's amazing the things that we often take for granted, because everything, literally everything, that we have is such a blessing!!

I thought about this today because I just got home from a bike ride with a friend of mine. I could tell that he wasn't as tired as I was, but I knew he was an avid bike rider, and I'm not. Since I've been trying to become a better runner as of late, I knew that my stamina was very slowly getting better, but I was just happy that I could keep up with him, not only that, but keep up a conversation while we were riding! I'm so grateful everyday that Heavenly Father blessed me with that experience and that I have a body that works!

Who are you?

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew who I was.  I knew my full name, my parents full names, my address, my phone number, my date of birth... all the things that made me, well, me! I even had a little metal bracelet that had all that information, just in case I ever got lost, so then other people who know who I was, too.

The real meaning of that question has probably changed over the years.  Who am I? I'm the daughter of Mark and Heather Donaldson.  Who am I? I'm Makenna Kathleen Donaldson.  Who am I? I'm a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Who am I? I'm a daughter of a King.  Who are you? The answers are probably endless.  The fact is you are divine.  Your nature is divine, your spirit lived with our Father in Heaven, your mission on this earth is divine.  Everything about you is a gift from our Father in Heaven, and you deserve to be treated as such, not only by others, but by yourself.  Remember who you are.  Remember where you came from.  Remember where you are going.  You are special, and you are loved.

We had a great lesson the third hour of church.  All the young women and the relief society sisters met together and were taught by a member of the bishoprick (who also happened to be one of my very favorite seminary teachers from high school).  A lot of the lesson focused on what girls feel like we have to do to attract boys.  We came up with lots of answers: being flirty, dressing pretty, pretending to be interested in the same things, being friendly, happy, being active and outgoing, and things like that.  Then we were asked to come up with what the world taught us would attract men.  Then we were asked to define what we wanted in a future husband.  The girls all came up with things like being friendly, a good listener, caring, devoted, ambitious, and a strong priesthood holder that can recognize Satan.  The last one was really important.  Our teacher made it a point to make sure we understood that in order to get the man we wanted, the strong priesthood holder, we had to be the things that we wanted and forget about what the world teaches us we should do.  Doing what the world says is not going to attract a strong priesthood holder.

The lesson made me think just how important I am and exactly what I want and deserve in a man.  I want, and I need a strong priesthood holder that understands and recognizes when Satan is trying to influence him and his family.  But in order to get that man, I have to be that person.  Never forget just how important you are in the eyes of the Lord, and treat yourself that way, and don't settle to be treated as less than that.

:)

Choose your love, love your choice

My parents are prime examples to me when it comes to true love.  To this day, my dad says he is the luckiest man in the world, and can't believe that my mom chose to marry him and stay with him.  She is the reason he lives, and the reason he wakes up everyday.  I think he would do anything for my mom, and I think she would do the same for him.  I love how my dad tries everything he can to make my mom's life more comfortable and easier.  She has never had to work, and because of that, we were able to have a mom 24/7 which was, I think, one of the greatest blessings in my life, and I know she was only able to do that because of my daddy (and Heavenly Father, of course).  My parent's have had it rough in the work department, and I know it has taken it's toll, but I love that my parents worked through it and put each other first.

My parents met for the first time back when my mom was dating my dad's best friend.  They became closer friends as they helped my mom's boyfriend at the time to go on a mission.  My dad was already home from his mission at the time, and while my mom's boyfriend was the same age as my dad, he was a convert and hadn't served a mission yet.  After my mom's boyfriend left, my dad took my mom out just as friends, but their friendship soon blossomed into romance and they decided they loved each other and wanted to marry each other (and if you ask me, it was the best decision of their lives, I mean, where would my siblings and I be without that?!).

I think my parents are great examples of that quote, "Choose your love, and love your choice." because they made that choice to get married, and they have loved that choice and each other ever since!

I think the best love stories are real life ones :)

Until next time, gentle readers :) love all your choices!

A buncha sickies

Poor little Hudson came down with a fever last Thursday (almost a week ago) and the little trooper has felt miserable every since! His fever is mostly gone, but it seems like it comes and goes, and the poor guy has a cough that just interrupts every sentence! But all he wants to do is play and be well and run around and play :( I feel so bad for him, I hate seeing little bodies so sick and achy.  I took the boys and Jaycee to the duck pond today and took the single stroller (stupid on my part, I should have just driven) but at the time, Hudson wanted to walk with Jaycee.  Well, when we got the duck pond, one of Jaycee's little sandals broke.  Great! So she walked around barefoot for a little while.  I tried to call their grandma to see if she could come pick us up in the car, but she didn't answer.  I didn't know it at the time, but she was outside pulling weeds and didn't have the phone with her.

At about 1:30 I decided I was just going to try and fit all the kids in the single stroller by pulling the back down into the bed position.  They were cramped, but it worked.  Hudson got a little fed up by how uncomfortable and cramped it was, so he asked if he could get out and walk.  He walked for a little bit, but we took lots of rests so that he didn't get too tired.  Then a blessed sight came before my eyes! Jeannie Shuldberg to the rescue driving the silent Hyundai of greatness! She is one incredible woman, I tell you.  She told me that she just had the thought that she needed to check on Makenna, she dismissed it once, but it came back with a vengeance, this time it was, "go pick up Makenna!" and she thought, "OK!" and there she was! Am I ever grateful she listened!

Jeannie Shuldberg is probably one of the most generous, caring, mothering, loving, and spiritual women that I have ever been blessed to have in my life.  The Lord really knew what He was doing when He gave me this job.  She's become like another mother to me! She's so wonderful, I love her!

Would you?

I can't remember how this conversation started, but it went a little something like this.

Boy 1: I had the best waitress tonight!
Boy 2: Was she cute?
Boy 3. Did you get her number?

Boy 1: No.  She had a kid...
Me: What if she was single? Single women sometimes have babies...

(Boys 1, 2 and 3 discuss this for a minute)

Me: So what if you were dating someone and you found out that had been married before.  Would that affect anything?

Basically my answer from the three of them was that they didn't want to date someone that was divorced, they would rather date someone who had a spouse die.  You can imagine how that made me feel for a minute.  None of these boys knew that I had ever been married, and none of them knew why I wasn't married anymore, and I wasn't about to tell them, especially after that conversation.  It didn't really hurt me or offend me, and I still love these guys to death, but it did make me think, and it made me a little bit sad for people who are in a similar situation as I am.  Knowing that there are so many guys out there, great guys, that would honestly think twice about dating me because I'm divorced makes me sad for myself because I didn't do anything wrong, and makes me sad for them because of the great women they could be missing out on.

Growing up in the church, we're always taught that divorce is wrong.  Obviously, marriage is a huge commitment that isn't to be taken lightly.  As a young girl, I knew that there were circumstances in which divorce was the best choice.  I knew it was wrong to stay in a marriage that was abusive, or if a spouse cheated, but, of course, I never thought that I would be married and divorced before I turned 20.  But I also never thought that I would be in a situation where I needed to get divorced.

You see, the Lord knows our situations.  He knows us, and He understands us.  I've heard many different explanations as to why I went through what I went through.  Some of them were "maybe you just needed that experience to grow" or "maybe this somehow brought you to who you really were supposed to be with" or "maybe you needed to experience this to help someone else."  While all those reasons are good reasons, and  I appreciate everyone's insight, I want to say that I think it's possible that the Lord has many reasons, but what I think is a bigger possibility is that sometimes the Lord just allows things to happen to us.  People have agency, and their agency affects us.  If you are standing idly by a road, minding your own business, obeying all pedestrian laws, and you get mowed over by a truck, lose your legs, and are permanently blind, do you think it was by any fault of yours? Most likely not.

We live in a mortal world where people have agency, and unfortunately, if someone uses their agency to chop off your arm with a chain saw, you are going to be affected by it.  You most likely will not have an arm.  This doesn't mean the Lord "made" you go through it, but He did "allow" you to go through it, and we should still learn form these experiences.  I don't believe the Lord "made" me go through horrible experiences, I believe He "allowed" me to, and I believe it brought me closer to Him.  I believe that the Lord can pull us through any situation, no matter how dark, and that if we allow ourselves, we can become closer to Him than we have ever been.

A friend of mine told me, after I had told him that I had been married, that if he were dating me, that wouldn't bother him at all, because he knew that the Lord made everything right in the end.  It was awesome for me to hear that kind of a testimony from a man! Because the Lord does! He is so much more merciful and just than we can even begin to imagine! We are so blessed to have such a loving Heavenly Father who has our best interest at heart.  The important thing is that we follow the spirit in all that we are told, even when it doesn't make sense to us.  Remember that we are mortals, and there is so much that doesn't make sense to us, but how can we exercise our faith without stepping into that darkness a little?

I told a friend of mine the condensed story of my short marriage and all the hardships that came with it, and he told me that as he was walking home from class the spirit just confirmed to him that everything I had told him was right.  It's nice to know that I know what I did was the right thing, but it's nicer to know that other people know it, too.

I love the Lord, and I know things will work out happily for everyone who follows Him and has faith in Him and does all that they are supposed to.  :)

Music in my life

First of all I would like to say that I just love my guitar.  I love playing it, I love the way it looks, the way it sounds, the way it feels, I love that it's my Grandy's, I love that my uncle Bob got it from Spain, I love that my Grandy used to play it to her kids when they were little, I love that I am capable of producing some sort of music that is somewhat enjoyable to the ears, and I love and am so grateful that God loved me enough to give me a gift that I enjoy so thoroughly!

I was a very musical kid.  I was also a very musical teenager, and have been a very musical adult for the few years I've been an official adult.  I sang, I played the viola, I taught myself piano, I taught myself the flute, and I loved it all! Then I decided that I wanted to learn the guitar.  So I set my mind to it, and taught myself! It may have been one of the best decisions I have ever made.  I don't know what it is about singing to the guitar when I play, but it literally makes me so happy! It makes me want to go all Taylor Swift and do nothing but play my guitar and sing for people and make a lot of good money doing it.  Wouldn't that be great? Ah well, I can dream, can't I?

Cheers to dreams.  Hip hip, hooray.

I Believe

I believe in Christ.
I believe in second chances.
I believe in love.
I believe everyone can overcome anything.
I believe the Lord makes everything right in the end.
I believe the Lord forgives us more easily than we forgive ourselves.
I believe that the atonement can ease every pain.
I believe in third and fourth chances.
I believe in change for the better.
I believe that sometimes when we don't know what to do, the Lord trusts us to make the right decision.
I believe that the Lord will guide us if we ask.
I believe we are told things we don't understand.
I believe we can't do things we think we can't.
I believe we affect people we don't know.
I believe we all have gifts and talents.
I believe the Lord is the only one who can and should judge us.
I believe that if we do what we should, we will be given more than we need.
I believe the Lord will take care of us.
I believe the right decision can be scary.
I believe that you can't have faith if you're scared.
I believe the Lord wants us to be happy, and will help us be that way if we let Him.
I believe the Lord brings people into our lives.
I believe in revelation.
I believe in the gospel.
I believe the Book of Mormon is the truest book on earth.
I believe Christ will come again.

Someday I'll be the reason someone lives

You know, my daddy is a wise and kind man.  One of the wisest and kindest that I know.  Yesterday I had a chance to talk to him on the phone for a good hour.  Since he is in California and I'm in Utah, and we are both working all the time, sometimes it's hard to find a moment to talk to him, so I love the moments when I get to steal some of his time :)

We talked about a lot of things, but the biggest thing we talked about was something that was good for me to hear, and something that I believe every girl in the world needs to hear.

My daddy told me, first off, that sometimes the Lord lets things happen to us.  Many of the trials that we face aren't because the Lord gives them to us, but that He allows Satan to tempt us and confuse us.  Like any test, we can prevail or we can fail.  Turning to the Lord in these times are crucial.  With the Lord, Satan has no power over us.  Also, Satan knows our weaknesses.  He knew us the premortal life.  He knows us better than we think, and because of that, he knows how to attack us.  But Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ know us best, and they know how to help us.

Another thing my daddy told me was that I deserved someone who lived for me.  Someone whose reason to wake up in the morning was me.  Someone who would fight for me, no matter what.  Someone who had the faith that God would make everything right in the end, and would be willing to go through whatever he had to because he loved me that much.  Someone who put me first, only behind God.  Someone whose every decision revolved around me.  Someone who would be my knight in shining armor.  Someone who was strong enough to withstand Satan.  Someone who made me feel like I was the best thing in the world.  Someone who would be everything I ever needed and wanted.

Maybe I already know him.  Whoever he is, he's out there, and as long as I'm doing what I'm supposed to, he'll find me :)

Cheers <3

Well hi there, it's been a while!

Wow! My dear readers, I know there are few of you, but I just want you to know that I am ever so sorry that it has been months and months since some of you have even HEARD from me! Per request of one of my dear friends that lives in another state, I have decided that it is high time that I give you all a nice update on this little life of mine.  So much to say, where to being?!

Let's start by saying that I, Makenna K. Donaldson, am very happy.  Life hasn't exactly worked out the way I thought it might, but when does it ever? Good news though, my daddy-o has a full time job in California, which means that the family can start working on moving out and selling the house and finding a house in California.  It's weird, it's finally sinking in! The weirdest part is that I'm not going with them! I have decided that I'm staying in Utah... I know it's what the Lord wants me to do. It's going to be tough, but I know it's going to be right, and everything works out better when you do what's right!

This weekend was a good one :) Caleb and I went to AF for the weekend, spent Friday night at a Smallville season finale party, spent Saturday afternoon at his old roommate's house at a pool party, then went to church on Sunday with the family and just had a rootin' tootin' good time! Laughing and joking and getting to know each other better.  I had an awesome weekend!

I am working full time in Provo as a nanny, and actually living in Provo during the week while I nanny, then I go home on the weekends.  It's kind of a weird set up, but it works, and it's nice to see the boyfriend everyday after work :) But soon enough I'm going to have to find another place to live because there's another person moving into this house that's going to be taking over my room, so I either have to find a place down in Provo or move back home and commute everyday, and I'm honestly not sure which one sounds better.  Commuting everyday is not exactly the best option because I hit rush hour traffic both ways, so it takes twice as long to get to work.  However, living at home is free, and finding a place in Provo would mean I would have to pay.  But then, summer housing is really cheap! But then, part of me wants to be able to see my mom and stuff everyday before she moves for good, but then the other part of me wants to live closer to work and not have to drive everyday... I guess I'll just cross that bridge when I come to it.

Anyway, that's about all I have time for today, until next time, dear readers!

Helping Hands

So, once upon a time there was a girl.  This girl wanted to help people.  She loved people, loved to help them when she could in all the ways she knew how.  This girl felt like she wasn't doing the best of it lately, so she prayed that Heavenly Father would show her ways to serve, because she knew that not only does the Lord want us to serve each other, but that when you lose yourself in service, you receive blessings that the Lord wants to bestow on you.  You see, this girl had been in a lot of pain.  She wanted so badly to help out around the house, but she was just in too much pain to do it.  But she was so determined to serve!

She didn't have to wait very long.

As soon as she had decided this, and after receiving a blessing, her pain was lessened just enough.  The next day, her sister got in a motorcycle accident, and this was the day before the girls' parents were leaving town.  Now, typically, this girl is a little squeamish, but let me tell you what, she was able to clean those wounds without even batting an eye! No queasiness whatsoever.  If that isn't the Lord's hand, I don't know what is.  She saw this accident that her sister was in as a great opportunity to serve her sister, getting to take care of her while her parents were away, and immediately thanked her Heavenly Father.

And you know what? Looks like one of her prayers is beginning to be answered right now.

Here's to a loving Heavenly Father who blesses us.  And here's to losing yourself in service.

Time for Prayers

As I drove to work today, which by the way is a great story in and of itself, which I suddenly feel the need to tell, so forget this sentence, here is the work story.

Remember that awesome nanny job I had? Well, they called me again because guess who moved back into town?! That's right! The sweet boys and they're amazing parents! Daddy Shuldberg got a job in Utah, so they moved on back, and anyway, to make a long story short, they needed someone to watch their kids for several hours each day for about a week, so they called me up! It was so much fun to go back and play with those two little boys, and what made it even better was that they both remembered me :) I love my life.

Anyway, so... today I was driving to work.  My car, Antoine, works again.  Just needed a new battery.  I drive with the windows down, which makes it noisy, and since I have no radio and have to use my phone, which doesn't turn up very loud, I don't play music on the way to work most days.  Today I did not.  I simply rolled my windows halfway down, and started praying.  I figured since I had so much time, what better thing to do with my time that chat with my Heavenly Father?

Well, let's be real here for a minute.  I had a lot on my mind lately.  A whole lot.  And what's not making it better is that I have been having a hard time really opening up to my Heavenly Father and just talking to Him like I really should.  I am good about saying my prayers, but lately they haven't been as sincere as I know they need to be.  This makes me sad.  I don't want to fall into that habit! So today, I started praying and just poured out my little soul (it's amazing that I didn't start snifflin' and sputterin' but somehow my nasal passages and tear ducts managed to stay dry)... I am here to tell you that, holy moley, I felt so much lighter.  I didn't even realize that I had felt sooo... not light.  Not that I felt bad or heavy or anything, but there is just something about conversing with your Heavenly Father knowing that He hears your every word and has been waiting for me to talk to Him like I did that just makes you feel all fuzzy and good.

So here's to prayers and answers and comfort and having a Heavenly Father that knows us and loves us. :)

Lent, Lent, Lent

No.  I'm not Catholic.  Yes.  I observe Lent.  For as long as I can remember, my family has done our own little Lent thing.  For those of you who don't know what Lent is, I'll explain it to you.

Traditionally, Lent, in the Christian tradition at least, begins on Ash Wednesday and lasts until Holy Saturday (right before Easter) - forty days (the Sundays in this period don't count, because they represent "mini Easters").  The forty days represent the amount of time (in the bible) that Jesus spent in the desert before his ministry where He was tempted my Satan.  The purpose of Lent is to prepare yourself through prayer, and specifically sacrifice of something, for the commemoration of the death and resurrection of the Savior, or basically, Easter.

The practice of Lent was virtually universal in Christianity until the Protestant reformation in the 1500's.  Some Protestant churches don't observe Lent, but many still do, such as Lutherans, Methodists, Presbyterians, Baptists, and Anglicans.

Basically the way we observe Lent in my family isn't really for the reasons I described above.  As the LDS church doesn't observe Fat Tuesday, Ash Wednesday, Good Friday or Holy Saturday, it's really not for any of these reasons that my family does Lent.  The reason we do Lent is because it's a good opportunity to take something out of your life that you don't need or that is taking time and energy away from something better that you could be doing.  One year, my mom gave up soap operas, and since then, she's been soap opera free! Silly, I know, but that's just an example.

So this year, dear readers, for Lent, I am giving up two things: not running, and sugar.

That means I'm not eating sugar, and I'm going to run.  I know, worded strange, but... it works...

And for those of you thinking "why would you give up sugar, it's not like you eat it all the time anyway..." I tell you, this statement may be true, but it's more of a motivation to get me TO run.  I know the healthier I eat (even if it seems ridiculous to some of you) the more motivated I will be to run five days a week.  I know myself and how I think and how I work, trust me, it must be done.

And so, I shall blog about my Lent journey.  Frustrations, progress, but not my failures, because there will be NO failures.  Gosh dang it!

So gear up, I'ma be a cross country runner before long.  Shazam.

Peace.

Blog Challenge: Day 29

Songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyper, mad:

Well... this is tough, but I'll do my best!

Happy

Enough - Tyrone Wells

Take It Home - The White Tie Affair

I Could Get Used To This - The Veronicas

Australia - The Shins

So Obvious - Runner Runner

Starlight - Muse

How Do You Sleep - Jesse McCartney

Sad

Never Alone - Lady Antebellum
Before We Say Goodbye - Shannon Noll

Gonna Get Over You - Sara Bareilles

How - Maroon 5

Blame It On The Rain - He Is We

Dancing With Tears In My Eyes - Kesha

Not Your Enemy - Jesse McCartney

Bored

Girl Inform Me - The Shins

Trouble - NeverSoutNever!

Come On Get Higher - Matt Nathanson

I Can't Lie - Maroon 5

Walking The Dog - Fun

Love Story - Taylor Swift

Kids/Time To Pretend - MGMT

Hyper

Until You're Over Me - Maroon 5

Everything Is Alright - Motion City Soundtrack

Five Minutes To Midnight - Boys Like Girls

Whoa Oh! (Me vs. Everyone) - Forever The Sickest Kids

Eenie Meenie - Justin Bieber

All I Ever Wanted - Bass Hunter

Lookin' For A Good Time - Lady Antebellum

Mad

If I Can't Have You - Kelly Clarkson

Acting Out - Ashley Tisdale

Not Afraid - Eminem

Cowboy Cassanova - Carrie Underwood

Hate On Me - Glee Cast

Whyyouwannabringmedown - Kelly Clarkson

If I Never See Your Face Again - Maroon 5

Rise Above!!

A good friend gave me some advice.  Actually, he gives me this advice almost every time we talk.  His words of wisdom, though its turned into our inside joke, are some that we could all take to heart!

"Rise above it!" is what he tells me. 

What is that one thing you need to rise above? Bad habit? Surroundings? It's easy to feel like you have no control sometimes, but don't you even begin to believe that you have no control over anything! Nothing could be further from the truth.

My mom is a very smart person.  She has always told me that you can't control what anyone else does, you can't control how they treat you, and sometimes you can't control what happens to you.  The one thing you can control, however, is yourself!! Your attitude is forever under your control.  Your attitude, your reactions, and your thoughts are things that you, and you alone can control.

I was blessed enough to have attended an institute class where one of my teachers actually gave a lesson on the exact thing my mom had been teaching me my whole life.  See, awesome lady, huh? :) but the lesson was incredible! The teacher went on to explain how because we have control over our thoughts, actions/reactions, and attitude, we have the power to stay happy and positive despite the bad things that happen!

I know its easy to let life get you down.  It's so easy to forget the real reason we're here.  It's easy to get jealous, be bitter, be angry, jealous, sad, unhappy, spiteful... we are human, and God knows that! But we aren't here to be content with being human, we are here to learn how to return to our Father in Heaven! So rise above those blues that Satan wants so badly to bring you down, and find happiness in the gospel! Remember Christ, remember the real reason you're here and forget the world.  Forget yourself, and focus on lifting others and bringing them closer to Christ. I promise, you'll find happiness and be able to rise above the blues!

I'm thinking... I'm thinking...

My thoughts are racing, and these are the contenders:

Last night, I had a dream about a friend of mine from a few years ago.  There's no reason I should dream about this friend, and yet I did.  It was cold and wintry outside and he lived in a basement.  Last night was weird.

The kitchen currently smells like Brick Oven Pizza... my mom made lasagna and it smells like heeeaaaaven!

I'm wearing a hat on my head.  It's a cute hat.  I don't wear hats very often because I never thought I had much of a hat face.  I sure showed myself!

It was 58 degrees today! Spring is coming! Life is GOOD!

I miss Provo.  I miss everyone in Provo.  I miss the Brownstone.  I do not miss having only one roommate that was never there, though... but I did like having my own room and having so much space!

My car needs a battery hose... do I know how to fix this? No, no I do not.

Twitter.  Why did I wait until after my mom got a twitter account to get one of my own? I'm still trying to figure this one out.

My legs hurt sooo goood right now.  Thank you P90X for making stairs a very scary thing!

I slept for 11 hours last night.  I slept for 11 hours last night.... I SLEPT FOR 11 HOURS LAST NIGHT!!!! :D :D :D :D

I painted my nails orange.  I don't really like orange... I like painting my nails orange.

My mom and I walked past the coffee section in Winco and I realized at that moment I probably needed to get some coffee scented candles, or coffee scented laundry detergent or something like that.  I. Love. That. Smell.

Who's disgustingly bright idea was it to invent Breast Milk Ice Cream? Seriously?!?! Whoever the brain child was didn't think about the potential health risks involved... not to mention, how did anyone find this appetizing?? Pretty sure we only breast feed for such a short amount of time for a reason, people.  Gaahhh.

It's so awesome not being sick anymore, but after so long, it's like people forgot I exist! I gots to figure out a way to fill my weekends again!

These are my thoughts.

Cheerio!

Blog Challenge: Day 28

Your celebrity crush:

Ahhhh... Adam Levine.  Maroon 5 lead singer.  You are beautiful, and your voice is just as, if not more so, beautiful as your person.  I can even look past the tats.

Let us admire him some more.

I know, right?!

And... for your musical and visual enjoyment, you can listen AND watch the babe at the same time!

Gorgeous.

Hope

My sweet grandma posted this  on Facebook today.  One of her grandsons is serving a mission in LA and this was a quote from one of his letters.  I thought it was too awesome to not share!!
"Just remember when something is taken from your hands, God is only preparing you to receive something bigger."
How true is that?